Where are your fingers?

Last week, I was on top of the world. We had put in a cash offer on a beautiful house, and I was basking in the knowledge that I am bringing my child into the world as half of a dedicated parenting team with no debt, a safe home, two reliable cars, and job security for us both. It simply does not get better than that.

I should have realized that what can’t go up, must come down.

This week I have been rudely confronted by the concept that individuals in our society lack both the ability and desire to take responsibility for their own actions. It has brought me to a level of anger I loathe to experience.

It seems the more entities involved in any given action, the less likely it is anyone will accept that they could have had a hand in the guilt-pie. This is propagated by the fact that the few individuals willing to take responsibility for their actions, manage to volunteer themselves as scape-goat for everyone else involved. Sometimes guilt is heaped on that has absolutely no affiliation to the original issue. This teaches our kindly little goat that they will be punished for doing the right thing. Next time, they are not so likely to submit to such persecution.

Rarely do we take the time to evaluate the entire world surrounding each person we point the finger of guilt at. You have no way of knowing how many such fingers are pointed at them, and how fragile that may make them. It really is no wonder we all seem to feel an unknown pressure we can't resolve. This week I have been near tears probably three times a day, every day, trying to resist the pressure other people's fingers are pointing at me. I fear that tears may not be an adequate coping mechanism for those in a less fortunate position.

Someone is thinking… she ought to do as she says and take responsibility for (name whatever wrong I've done you). You’re right. I should. It is something I'm actively working on. I sincerely and whole-heartedly apologize for each and every single time I have done the finger pointing. I too, have been raised in this “not my fault” society, and I’m afraid it has had much more impact than I’d like. Probably even more effect than I’m actually aware of. It’s pervasive, self-reinforcing, and so very subtly entwined in this social construct we experience during every waking hour of our lives.

Very likely, anyone reading this knows me pretty well. You know that I almost never put out a call to action. Today I do so, and urgently.

PRACTICE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

I do mean practice. It's not something that comes naturally to any of us anymore. Take a peek at those dusty, scary (and jam-packed) areas of your soul. Make amends for times you either forced or merely allowed someone else to take the fall. If there's something you are currently trying to get out of admit your guilt, plan ways to avoid the same mistake in the future and allow everyone to move on! Maybe we can show our children that even though it won’t pay off, it’s still worth doing.